Fragmented
by Daemonette19
Summary: We are Kalyss Shepherd’s family, Executor. As are the rest of the crew of the Normandy. I’m pleased to see her so honoured” Anderson moved over to Garrus side and eased himself to the floor, knees creaking. “I don’t know what to do” “Just remember”


A/N: So this is the next installment of the "F" series. A 1.5 fic as it were. I don't own Bioware or Mass Effect. Reviews and Ideas are welcome. Believe it or not I'm having trouble finging appropriate F-words for titles :) The next one needs a little more work, trying to take a Garrus/Femshep established relationship into ME2is taking a little more effort than I thought.

Anyway, enjoy! And grab a Kleenex!

**Fragmented**

"…thought you'd like to know, Commander Shepherd" The Salarian councilor winked out, leaving the comm room in sudden darkness.

Shepherd slammed a hand down on the console in frustration, "Dammit. Kaiden I need you to recall the crew, get everyone back here." She dropped her elbows onto her knees and buried her head in her hands.

"We've got to go, Shepherd, you know that"

"Of course I do. I just hate the thought of leaving him behind. I'd hate the idea of leaving any of you behind, Normandy's crew, motley as it is, has gone through a lot together. It doesn't seem right to break it up." She flashed the Lieutenant a wry grin before her face settled into its usual more somber lines.

"Garrus will understand, he's C-sec it runs a lot like a military establishment"

"He's forces, Kaiden. All turians spend some time in their Fleet. He was forces before he was C-Sec…"

"..and he'll be on his feet and a Spectre by the time we get back" He hauled his commanding officer to her feet. "Any thoughts on these disappearing ships?"

"Too many. Geth, Reapers, maybe something as mundane as pirates or as bizarre as an intergalactic Bermuda triangle. With so little information, let's just play it safe. Get everything squared away. I want to be out of here as soon as possible. I'm heading to the ICU. We're still heroes at the moment, use it to fast track everything."

He snapped her a salute, "Spectre status as a battering ram, yes ma'am"

* * *

The turian nurse looked up from her desk at the front of the Dextro-based Intensive Care ward, "Commander, I wasn't expect…ah…would you like me to get the specialist?"

"It's not necessary. I just wanted to speak with him for a minute" the human officer strode down the ward.

The nurse suppressed a shiver. There was something about the Commanders eyes, an intensity that reminded her all too well of her time spent stationed at a military hospice. There were some things a sentient, perhaps, just wasn't meant to live through. Reaching for the comm., she called the specialist "Doctor? Commander Shepherd's here again. She said she wanted to talk to him but he's still unconscious. Alright. Thank you."

* * *

Kalyss reached out and flicked open the comm line. She couldn't go into the small glass cubicle, not when Garrus was still immunocompromised.

"Hey there." She spoke with an uncharacteristic softness. "I know you're gonna hate this but…we're shipping out. I'll leave you a message for when you wake up. I just …couldn't just go, you know. Sentimental old me, having to say goodbye."

"Good evening, Commander Shepherd" The low voice of the Asari immunologist was soothing among the high pitched beeps and sterile surrounds.

"Dr Saraya," Shepherd nodded in greeting, her eyes never leaving the sleeping Turian. "He looks a little better, gaining some more colour around his face"

"Indeed, I would not have expected you to notice"

"I've become fairly familiar with Turian physiology."

"We'll wake him in a few more days. I suspect Detective Vakarian will not be the easiest of patients but I would like to keep him on bed rest until I'm sure the damage to his lungs has been fully repaired."

Shepherd smiled gently, "He hates getting sick. If he'd just told our Medical Officer he was still having trouble breathing. He hid it. If I had realized he would have been tucked up in the Medbay before he could blink." She leaned back towards the comm., "Next time you try and take a bullet for me, make sure it's not designed to take out a Turian. Idiot"

Seeing the quizzical look from Dr Saraya, Shepherd explained. "They're fairly new on the street. Turian Killers. Designed to penetrate shields and start an extreme allergic reaction. Instant anaphylaxis. Garrus broke cover to allow me a shot at a sniper pinning the unit down. That coupled with the lingering damage from being crushed by Sovereign, well, you saved his life, Doctor. You need anything, anything at all, you contact me. We owe you."

Shepherd's personal comm chirped and she moved away to take the call privately. When she returned the easy rapport between the two of them, human and asari had disappeared, replaced with a sense of deadly efficiency. Noticeable enough it made the 600 year old asari fidget nervously and fall back on military formality.

"I have to leave. Notify me if there is any change."

"Of course, Commander Shepherd."

"If I…sent you a message for him, nothing classified, just personal, would you see that he got it as soon as he wakes up? It would mean a lot"

"If you'd like, Commander."

"Thank you" Shepherd pressed a hand to the cubicle wall, looking at Garrus for a moment before walking quickly out the room.

"You're a very lucky man" Dr Saraya whispered into the comm. She flicked it off and headed back to her office ignoring the gibbering of the nurse.

* * *

Garrus frowned, mandibles pulled tight in displeasure. He wasn't in their bed on Normandy. He wasn't on his stomach like usual and there wasn't the familiar warmth of Kalyss tucked protectively under his arm. Maybe she'd had a graveyard shift.

He tried to open his eyes but the bright light forced them closed again with a wince. He felt heavy, drained and there was an acidic taste in the back of his throat that he associated with hospitals and anesthetics.

"Kalyss?" he groaned reaching out. Surely she would be here. If he'd been injured, she would have to be here. Unless …

"Careful, Detective" A soft hand caught his flailing claws and he winced as whoever it was squeezed a little too hard. The etching on the far finger was still new and the joint underneath tender. The voice was low, the inflections Asari.

"I'll dim the lights for you. I'd like you to try and remain conscious while I ask a few questions. Just to get an idea of what you remember"

"Where …" he broke off coughing and the stranger helped him sit and drink…something. It eased the rawness of disuse from his throat. "Where's Shepherd?"

"I'm sorry, Detective. The Commander shipped out a week ago. You were determined to stay asleep, had us all quite worried. I'm Dr Saraya, the specialist assigned to your case."

"Not…not Detective"

"Actually you are, the Commander said that it would come as a surprise to you. Your resignation never went through. Executor Pallin had you on leave. I'm afraid I don't understand the context of the information of course. She did leave you a message. You're still very tired perhaps you should sleep a little longer. The tests can wait as can the message…"

"No" he jerked free and grabbed her arm, "I need to see"

"Very well" The doctor pulled the private terminal down to where he could see and with a few quick taps of her omni-tool transferred the data.

Kalyss flickered into view, the short messy cap of bright red hair, the haunted green eyes complete with dark smudges underneath, the pale white of her skin. Creator bless the recessive gene that gave her that clear, translucent, white skin. He found the contrast between it and his own harsher darker hide incredibly erotic.

"Hey" her voice was soft, nervous her own innate paranoia made her hesitant to put anything on record, hardcopy or digital. Mindoir, Akuze, various shadow ops and classified missions for the Alliance, was it any wonder she often felt harried, hunted. He could see it in the tenseness of her shoulders, the hard line of her jaw, the clenched fists. "So, well, I'm sorry I'm not there to … I'm sorry …damn" Her face relaxed into the charming, self deprecating grin that fascinated so many. "I should be there when you wake up but I won't be. We're off doing shadowy thing things for blind people and I'll tell you all about it when I get back. It feels weird being away from you. We've had each others back for a while now" Her smile became decidedly, wicked. It sent a shiver down his back and caused a tightening in his lower abdomen. "Just in case you don't remember what happened, I'm very put out with you. I understand why you broke cover and it gave me a very nice shot, thank you. You're still an idiot though. I should throw you in the brig for stupidity unbecoming an officer. On this ship there a fair number of people who care for you and we've already lost too many friends, Garrus." She gathered herself" Anyway, we'll see you when we see you. Don't worry about bills or anything it's all being charged to the Council. Get better and go see Capt…ah…Councilor Anderson. Oh, Executor Pallin has some words for you too. Good Luck"

The screen went dark and he sat staring for a few moments, mentally deciphering the messages within. She wanted to be with him. He was an idiot. She was on a job for the Council. She would miss him. Pallin wanted to speak with him and Anderson probably had further intel on her mission. She was really pissed with him.

He groaned and dropped his head back into the pillows.

"Bad news, I take it"

"Work related."

The doctor's comm. chirped and she left him for a few moments. When she returned she apologized, "I had hoped to give you some peace but the nurse has been very efficient in answering a number of enquiries about you coming out of the coma. I'm afraid you have some important visitors, anyone else I would deny them access to the ward, however…"

"I understand" he grated.

He glanced at the ring of engraving on the far finger of his left hand. The galactic co-ordinates of Mindoir encircled the thick joint. Her colony, her homeworld. Kalyss had had a stylized representation of Palaven's markings tattooed into the skin covering her right shoulder blade. As big as his palm it stood out from her pale skin, the bright blue of his family's markings. Their own version of vows, the idea may have manifested over too much alcohol and mourning the loss of too many comrades but they had decided there was merit in it. Unable to bond by human or turian law, not a law against but a lack of law enabling, they had simply declared each other kin to be notified on personal records and hatched a plan to get Anderson drunk enough to witness them. It wasn't hard, the entire Citadel was in mourning and it didn't take much to encourage the inhabitants to drown their sorrows.

He had watched as the Drell tattooist had carefully carved out the digits, scraping away the unwanted flesh. It stung but not badly, he didn't even bleed unlike Shepherd who swore softly through out the whole thing. Blood welled from under the skin, staining the surrounding area pink. "It'll be fine" She had reassured him, "I'm more worried about him leaning on that shoulder too hard and dislocating it again."

"Vakarian" Garrus jerked awake, he must have nodded off again for a second. Both the new human Councilor and Executor Pallin were at the foot of the bed, this had to be a nightmare, a really awful nightmare.

"Are you alright?" Dr Saraya was still there, her hand warm on his bare shoulder.

"Fine, fine, just …dozed off"

"It's to be expected. Let's make this meeting short, gentleman"

The two older men nodded in agreement, Anderson looked sick, Garrus thought the stress of the new position was obviously not agreeing with him.

"If you don't mind, Councilor Anderson" Pallin stepped forward and handed Garrus a datapad, "Your acceptance into the Spectre training program, Shepherd gave you a very enthusiastic recommendation."

Anderson started although he didn't say anything, glancing at him curiously Garrus took the pad, "Thank you Executor, you didn't have to bring me this yourself though…"

"I was hoping to convince you to turn it down, to return to C-sec. You're a good officer Vakarian, a good investigator, I hate to see you wasted as a Spectre."

"Sorry, sir, I'm just not interested in returning to C-Sec at the moment, I want to focus on the Spectre Candidacy Program"

Pallin looked regretful, "Of course, we'll welcome you back any time though, Garrus, anytime"

Anderson scrubbed a hand over his face, it trembled and Garrus pulled himself up, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Councilor?"

"It's Normandy, Garrus, she's lost."

He shook his head in confusion, "Gone? She can't be…"

"Destroyed. The Sydney's already there searching for survivors. She's picked up a number of escape pods and is in contact with the others. We have an accurate casualty report."

"No"

"Shepherd stayed to help Joker, she got him into a pod but ... there was a rupture. She was … even if her suit maintained containment, it's been too …She's gone"

Garrus felt the rumble begin low in his throat, his hands clenched in the mattress, the material giving way under his talons. "Kalyss will be fine" he grated.

"I'm sorry, Garrus. She's been listed KIA"

Garrus dove for the Councilor, wires, tubes and catheters tearing free, a heartbroken roar, ripped from his throat. Pallin stepped between them, caught Garrus by the shoulders keeping him from the unarmoured human but he jerked away and proceeded to tear apart the small room. The crazed turian lashed out knocking over monitors and machines. He stumbled against the bed and in the next second had jerked it up and thrown it across the room. The densely packed foam that made a turian mattress caught at his claws and he shredded it. Finally exhausted, bleeding, he dropped to the floor. Raising his face he gave a long, howling keen. It went on and on, grief-stricken, heartbroken, alone.

Pallin jerked in surprise from where he had been guarding the more vulnerable Councilor and doctor, "You mated her? A human?"

The doctor pushed past him to kneel at Garrus side, tears streaking down her face "My first bondmate was a turian, I understand the custom. May I? I admired your Shepherd very much." When he didn't object she joined her voice to his.

* * *

Anderson wiped his face on his sleeve, he'd lost friends before, people under his command, colleagues. It was the nature of the job but Shepherd. She'd touched his heart from the first second he saw her. She was holed up in a crumbling section of cliff on the outskirts of her family's small settlement on Mindoir. A heavy pistol on the ground at her side and a truly ancient rifle propped on a segment of outcropping. At sixteen she was awkward and bony and thin, in that stage of constant growth. Batarian and human bodies lay scattered around the ruins below and brilliant green eyes had watched him like a hawk as he had made his way up to her to prove that he was really Alliance and that the other marines were there to help. It was the determination in those eyes, large and haunted and angry, so damn angry, in that painfully thin face. He'd watched over her career from the moment she had joined up, added his recommendation that she be accepted for N7 training.

When he heard she had survived Akuze he had rushed to her bedside. She wasn't speaking, was barely eating and when those tired green eyes fluttered open he had to choke back a sob. How could she carry so much, how could she still be sane? He had jerked at his uniform jacket and put on his professional face and all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms. Cynthia had never wanted children and there had been no one since who he had even entertained the thought of a permanent relationship with, except perhaps Kahlee and that had been doomed from the start. Shepherd though, Shepherd had somehow managed to sink herself into that part of his heart. He berated himself again for not adopting her, for letting her be shuffled from foster home to foster home on Earth until her majority.

"Lieutenant Shepherd, given our history the doctors thought you might be more willing to talk to me. Also, I'm afraid there are a few …discrepancies with the believed cause of death with a few of the bodies recovered."

"I killed them" she had rasped. He had leant over, taken her fine boned hand in his and smoothed the rumpled red hair away from her face. "Tell me, Shepherd"

"The Threshers started to fight over the ….They tore Janey apart. She tried to drag herself away but…I couldn't let them hurt her anymore. Toombs was dragged under while I reloaded. I could hear him screaming. I can still hear him screaming"

"How many marines did you account for, Shepherd?"

"Four. And not one damn Thresher. Couldn't get a round past that armour. "

She had stared up at him, trusted him and apologized to him, "I'm sorry, Sir"

Her next words broke his heart,

"I should have tried harder"

* * *

Anderson could hear her voice in his head, "I should have tried harder"

"Damn, Shepherd, Goddamn" he covered his face with his palm. "No-one could do more than you, no-one ever could"

"I apologise for young Vakarian, Councilor. The rite of mourning should be the province of Commander Shepherds family," Pallin shifted awkwardly, embarrassed by the emotional outpouring in the room.

Anderson watched the younger turian, head thrown back, eye's streaming violet tinted tears.

"We are Kalyss Shepherd's family, Executor. As are the rest of the crew of the Normandy. I'm pleased to see her so honoured" He moved over to Garrus side and eased himself to the floor, knees creaking. "I don't know what to do"

"Just remember," Garrus whispered taking his hand, "Remember her as we knew her, cry out against the loss of her, let her spirit know we mourn her" He began that ragged, distraught keening again and David couldn't bring himself to try to emulate it. Instead he did something he hadn't done in nearly eight years and last time it had been over Shepherd as well. He bowed his head and cried.

_I'm sorry, Sir, I should have tried harder_

_************************************************************************************************************************************************************  
_

At the long awaited tone of the secure comm., the Shadow Broker jerked upright and tapped it open. "Yes?"

"We have her, Sir. We have Shepherd"

A/N Dont forget to review, please!! :)


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